Spoof article about supposed congestion pricing in Hamptons over Labor Day drives locals crazy
A spoof article about supposed congestion pricing in the Hamptons over Labor Day weekend hit too close to home — and had some ticked-off readers flooding the governor’s office with angry calls.
The tongue-in-cheek piece in the latest issue of Dan’s Papers went so far as to suggest that fees would be charged depending on the value of a vehicle — with cars worth more than $250,000 getting in for free because “we are happy to have the ultra, ultra, ultra-rich here.”
Some readers just didn’t get the joke.
“They believe it,” Dan’s Papers Publisher Vicky Schneps, who said she got dozens of calls at the office, told The Post on Sunday. “They asked, ‘Is this really so?’ “
She said some readers were downright furious, calling the satirical piece “fake news.”
“We don’t publish fake news. We publish satire,” Schneps shot back, adding that people should have known the article was clearly “over the top.”
The flap comes after Gov. Kathy Hochul famously pulled the plug on an actual congestion pricing plan for the Big Apple in June, arguing that it was too much for cash-strapped New Yorkers.
The Long Island article by the Hamptons paper’s founder, Dan Rattiner, in its Aug. 29 edition was labeled “satire” while claiming vehicles entering the ritzy beachfront community between midnight Thursday and midnight Tuesday would be charged.
“At that point officials will decide whether to bring it back for Columbus Day weekend when crowds of automobiles once again make driving here almost impossible,” the article said. “It has already been decided to bring it back for the summer of 2025.”
The Hamptons’ faux fee would depend on the vehicle’s price tag, with cars “with low value, such as old Toyota Corollas,” paying just $5, but cars worth up to $60,000 forced to pay $50.
Cars valued at up to $100,000 would pay $200, with vehicles worth and between $100,000 and $250,000 having to pay $999, according to the article.
Owners of pricier cars can make “voluntary contributions” that can be paid “by check, cash, stocks, bitcoin or money order. All will be tax deductible,” the piece said.
“You may notice the cloud of drones that hover over all the entry points into the Hamptons, taking pictures of license plates to make it happen,” the article said.
The revenue would go to state DOT, “not for the purpose of building more roads but for building speed bumps at 100-yard intervals on all existing roads,” the jokey piece said.
The spoof claimed Hochul had been secretly hatching the local plan for congestion pricing since last month, when she announced a $2.5 million project to restore Ditch Plans Beach in Montauk — and Hamptons traffic allegedly made her miss her plane back to Albany, shutting down state government for three hours.
The phony plan included penalties for scofflaws, including a 60-day jail sentence and $1,000 fine for firing a weapon at a drone, making road rage a capital offense and calling for any vehicle that makes a left turn at any Hamptons intersection to be impounde, “then crushed at a junkyard.”
What many readers seem to have missed was the notation at the end of the article.
“Don’t panic, people, this is a joke! Obviously,” it read.
