We all know at least one chronically late person in our lives — but schedule-savvy TikTokkers might have a solution, albeit controversial.
One creator revealed in a recent viral video, which now boasts over 11 million views, that her friends started lying to her about reservation times to ensure she arrives right on time as opposed to half an hour late.
“If you’re my best friends who just made a reservation for 8:30 and told me 8:00, well played,” the unnamed TikTokker said in the clip.
Arriving to the restaurant at 8:22 pm, she requested the table she believed her pal had reserved for 8 p.m. and was informed she was actually the “first one here,” rather than the last.
While the TikTokker clearly found humor in her friends’ solution to her chronic lateness, her behavior — and that of her pals — sparked furious debate in the comment section.
“I would just stop inviting you. Chronically late people get on my nerves,” scolded one viewer.
“I feel like it’s just basic respect to show up on time if someone plans something,” snarked another.
“How do yall keep a job being this late?” wrote someone else, while others called late individuals disrespectful.
“There’s nothing funny about being late all the time,” another person chimed in. “I just don’t invite people who are always late anymore.”
“From the friend who once started lying about what time to show up: The next step is *forgetting* to invite you,” commented someone else.
Etiquette expert Lisa Grotts told USA Today that friends should discuss and come to an understanding of what is considered “on time,” as everyone’s perception of what is polite might vary. Maybe they were raised in a household where arriving within a 10 minute window was acceptable, while others might abide by the “if you’re early, you’re on time” mantra.
But someone who is constantly, egregiously late might face bigger consequences than being lied to about their dinner reservation time.
“When you are late, it says that your time is more important than everybody else’s,” Grotts explained. “It’s not. If this type of behavior continues, you might find yourself off the party guest list.”
Meanwhile, other TikTokkers didn’t think the lying nor lateness were all that serious, admitting they — and their friends — are often running late.
“Friends are helping you,” argued one person. “I’ve been the late friend & working on it alot. Often it’s stress from too many responsibilities/constraints. Never intentional but a fixable habit.”
“Oh I always do this for my late friend,” wrote another. “Love her though!”
“Maturing is not being mad at friends for making accommodations for the chronically late friend,” commented someone else, despite users arguing that, now that the creator is in on the lie, she might be even more late the next time.
That said, such “accommodations” (i.e. lying) might not be the best policy, advised Brad Fulton, Indiana University – Bloomington associate professor of management and social policy. He told USA Today that this is “mainly because lies often beget more lies.”
“Consider whether any of the friends would be upset if they found out that the dinner party planner had communicated differently to each person,” Taya Cohen, a Carnegie Mellon University professor of organizational behavior and business ethics, told USA Today.
While some viewers online vouched for confronting friends about their chronic tardiness, Fulton said it might be more work than its worth.
“If a person confronts a friend about their chromic tardiness, the friend might accuse the person of being controlling, citing that being on time is a cultural value not a universal value,” he said.